Opposites attract: Lynette and Gabby

Lynette Scavo has probably the least to do with the theme of courtship in the show. Since she is pretty much happily married (and the only real housewife throughout all of the shows) she doesn’t really relate to dating very much. However, she is portrayed as having very traditional values because when she thinks that her husband is cheating on her, she instantly leaves him. (Don’t worry, he wasn’t cheating. It was just a misunderstanding.) Also, Lynette seems very comfortable and secure in her relationship with her husband, Tom. She is constantly saying that she trusts him, and she really does, and she knows that things can go wrong but that it is okay. She even recognizes that other women are beautiful and that it is a natural thing to be attracted to them. She says, “Tom, it’s okay. She's attractive. Men by nature are drawn to fertile young women with whom they can plant their seed. It's the basic flaw of your gender.” But, she does not hold this against him.

I think many women admire Lynette for keeping her relationship fun and exciting, while also being responsible and rational. Lynette and Tom are truly in love and they make it very apparent. This is why many married women watch this show. They wish that their relationship could be like Lynette and Tom’s and hope to identify with them. Lynette is just a likeable character. She may have trouble with her kids, and her life may be something other than perfect, but who isn’t like that. People can relate to her very easily. Wikipedia states that, “Lynette Scavo represents that person inside all of us who just can't seem to hold it together. She is loveable because of her chaotic life, her struggles and, most important, her ability to be honest about them.” Being honest about her struggles and the things that are going on in her life is one of her best characteristics. She is not like Bree who can hold everything back and pretend like things are okay. She is not afraid to ask for help and to let her friends know what is going on. She is also very truthful with the other women and says what is on her mind. Lynette adds a lot of comic relief to the show as well because she is the person who says what we all wish we could say in certain situations.

• Tom: “I love you because you did the right thing, and I admire your bravery. “
  Lynette: “And I love you because you find ways to compliment me when you could just say, ‘I told you so.’”
  [They kiss, then Tom says something in sign language]
  Lynette: “You just signed ‘I told you so’, didn't you?”
  Tom: “You'll never prove it.”
  

• Lady: "Listen, it seems to me like you have some anger management issues."
  Lynette: "I have four kids under the age of six. I absolutely have anger management issues.”

Although Gabrielle Marquez Solis is very opposite Lynette, they are very good friends. Being the youngest of the women and most recently married (and divorced), Gabrielle has been through all stages of courtship in the duration of the show. Gabby is an ex-model who is bored in the house all day while her husband is at work. In my opinion, her character is the most interesting and fun to watch because she has such a twisted view on love and the way love should be pursued. This is more toward the beginning of the series, as she does mature in the later episodes but she still looks for the same type of guy every time. She is the most stereotypical “desperate housewife” on the show, and if you’ve never watched before, Gabby is probably what you are thinking of when you make presuppositions on what the show is about.

Let’s go through the stages of Gabby’s courtships:

1) She is married to a very wealthy man named Carlos.
She only married Carlos because he was rich and she was beautiful and had rich taste. She likes to shop and spend a lot of money and she thinks that people are only about how much they are worth. They are very sexual and may seem happy on the outside; however when Carlos is working all day Gabby finds herself bored with her life. She later realizes that she has married Carlos for the wrong reasons. For things that she wanted when she was younger, but that no longer satisfied her. This boredom and dissatisfaction leads her to the next stage:

2) Her affair with her 17 year old gardener, John.
This is the twisted part. She lusts after the gardener and pursues a sexual relationship with him even though he is VERY underage. She goes against her marriage vows and doesn’t really show remorse for her actions. She knows that she doesn’t want to pursue a relationship with John (even though he does), so she just uses him for sex. This, and other complications in Gabby and Carlos’s marriage lead to the next stage:

3) Divorce.
Gabby and Carlos’s divorce was very messy. They yelled at each other, got into fights, broke a lot of things, argued over the settlement, and everything else imaginable in a bad divorce. They also tried to make each other jealous by courting other individuals while still living in the same house. This was the first sign that they still loved each other. After the divorce was final and they finally agreed to become civil, they decided to start the next stage:

4) Dating after Divorce.
They first began dating the same types of people as they were married to. Carlos dated beautiful women that were into money, and Gabrielle dated very handsome men who had a lot of money and like the fact that she was beautiful. This just goes to show that people do have certain “types” that they are more attracted to. They also became very jealous of each other and tried to sabotage the relationships they were trying to get into.

Why do people love to watch her? She is very scandalous, beautiful, and still very likeable even with all her flaws. I don’t think that many average women who watch the show can identify with her, but they do enjoy criticizing her or wish they could be as sexy as her. (Some just love to hate her.)

These quotes are to get a better sense (there’s a lot, but they are just so good):

• "Do you know how bored I was today? I came this close to actually cleaning the house!"
  
• "Oh, for god's sake, Bree. You're a woman. Manipulate him. That's what we do."
  
  
• "I have this hole in my life that can't be filled by shopping."
  
  
• "John, you're a toy. A sweet dumb toy. So you might as well go to college, because there's nothing between us!"
  
  
• "I've tried poor but happy. Guess what? Wasn't that happy!"
  
  
• Gabrielle: "If you ever hurt me again, I will kill you."
  Carlos: "If you ever leave me for another man, I'll kill you."
  Gabrielle: "Boy, with all this passion, isn't it a shame that we're not having sex?"
  
  

Situation of Discourse

Disclaimer: This post is extremely boring and if I were you, I wouldn’t read it unless you are Dale. Thank you.


The creator of Desperate Housewives is Marc Cherry. Since, I don't really know anything about him or his personality, I will write about an implied author of the show. For this kind of show, I would have thought that the writer would either be a woman that has been involved in many of the same experiences that are shown on the show. Or, perhaps the writer is a man who is either gay, or has many people around him that resemble those characters on the show. (Either way, these story lines and personalities have to have been inspired by real people.)

I found out that Marc Cherry was indeed gay and many of the women on the show were modeled after people he grew up around. Marc Cherry does have a very good ethos. He has been nominated and won various awards for his creation of Desperate Housewives and other shows as well. Since the show first aired it has brought ABC’s ratings up more than anything in the past. Cherry is well known in Hollywood and is a very respectable name.

The implied audience for this show is most likely women, who may or may not be housewives. (Or, for the men that tune in just to see Eva Longoria in her lingerie.) I think that the goal of the show’s creators is just to entertain an audience and create suspense with a bit of a mysterious story line to keep people watching. Some of the shows do have some sort of “moral” to it, but it may be hard to decipher as it is hidden beneath sex scenes, murder, and other racy and controversial story line elements.

As an audience member, I just watch the show for its entertaining plot and I have become attached to some of the characters as well. I can never miss a week because I have to know what happens in all of their lives. It is as if it has some sort of impact on me, when in reality it doesn’t at all. This could also be the intention of the writers, to keep people hooked and wanting more. They make the characters so lovable (or love to hate) that the avid watchers need to know what is going on with them. This sounds silly, since it is a fictional television “dramedy”, but it seems to me that a huge group of people are just like I am. They need to watch the show every week for whatever other reasons they may have. Some watch it because they can relate to the characters or story line. Others watch because they want to see what kind of controversy comes up next. Men watch it because their girlfriend or wife makes them. Then there are people like me who watch it for pure entertainment on Sunday nights.

The goal of this show is to maybe bring some awareness about different types of women who are classified as “desperate housewives” in their community. It shows a bunch of different stereotypes and brings light to what they are really like and what they go through (with exaggeration of course, and to a certain extent). For people who have never seen the show, they may get a very different idea about what goes on, like a lot of sex, cheating, cooking, cleaning, shopping, and so on. Granted these things do go on, but that’s not what the show is about. This show just portrays life as a housewife and different things that go on in a community.

There are many emotional and logical appeals to the audience in Desperate Housewives. The emotional appeals are the very complex story lines that draw you in and make you feel for the different characters. The different situations the characters are in can make anyone feel some sort of connection to show and is enough to make someone sit down and watch a whole episode or season. The language used has a lot of passion and viewers can relate very easily to any of the characters. The logos in Desperate Housewives isn’t as strong as the pathos, but it is present. Some things that the characters do in the show don’t really show an immense amount of logic when trying to solve their problems, and the unfolding mysteries aren’t very logical either. However, logic is apparent when the narrator explains some sort of moral of the episode and the end of each show.

The occasion of this show is for pure enjoyment of drama from the audience, with some underlying message in every episode. I think that the occasion of any television show is for some entertainment (or else no one would continue to watch them). However, the definition of entertainment is different for everyone. Some people can be entertained by watching the history channel, and others by watching reality television or other types of “guilty pleasure” television shows. Everyone gains from television shows in my opinion. The people who make them make money off of it, and the viewers get the enjoyment of watching them and also may even learn something from them. Television shows can also provide another view on things that people haven’t thought about, raise awareness about certain issues, teach and important lesson, and many other things. Whatever the reason, most everyone gains from TV shows. (I can’t think of anyone that doesn’t gain.)

Competition in Courting

Susan Meyer is sort of the hopeless romantic who has very bad luck with men and everything else. She is recently divorced from a husband who cheated on her and is looking for love on Wisteria Lane to settle her lonesomeness. However, one problem persists, her rival and man-eater, Edie Britt. “Edie Britt was the most predatory divorcee in a 5-block radius. Her conquests were numerous. Varied. And legendary. Susan had met the enemy and she was a slut."

This is precisely why I decided to post this one blog about the both of them together. Their lives are so intertwined that you would think that they are friends, but really they are the true opposite of friends. Sure, toward the end of season 3 they become semi-pleasant with each other, but they are really competing the whole time for the same men in the area. If not openly, then concealed and backhandedly.

This situation is very identifiable to the majority of women out there because at some point in time, you have to deal with competition when it comes to men. This forces you to put your best foot forward to try to beat out the “other woman”. I think that competition of this kind is a common theme in courtship. Every man has a choice in whom he decides to date, and with that choice comes the constant battle between women to somehow present a better image to the man they are fighting for.

Who wins this battle in the end? The beautiful, sexy women who “get around” and are very experienced with getting men to do what they want? Or, perhaps, the sweet, maybe unlucky women who just want something real?

Here are some quotes that can describe their relationship a little more:

• "Edie'll get there at five forty-five, which means her breasts will arrive at five-thirty, so I should shoot for five."
• To Edie: "Now, she's lying, scheming and having casual sex — she's just one boobjob away from being you!"
• "Susan was furious with Edie for using a dog to ingratiate herself with its owner. She was also furious with Mike for not seeing through this blatant maneuver. But most of all, she was furious with herself for not having thought of it first."
• Edie: "For the record, I was rooting for you to land him."
  Susan: "And why would you root for me?"
  Edie: "Well, I figured it would be easier for me to steal Mike from you than her - she seems like fun!"

The Tradtitional Marriage

Bree Van de Kamp (Hodge) is sort of the old-fashioned one of the group. She is the homemaker, Martha Stuart type who believes that her life is, or should be perfect. Her relationship with her current husband is somewhat the perfect marriage on the outside, but has many underlying problems. These problems are very outlandish and would probably never happen (like Orson’s alleged murder of his ex-wife), but they also go through a lot of the same things that regular couples do. The crazy story line is to draw people in, but I think that many people can relate to Bree’s character on the whole. She has been through a cheating husband, separation from that husband, his death, problem children, a crazy mother-in-law, among other things, and still puts a gourmet dinner on the table for her family every night. This makes her very relatable to the modern wife. Although she likes to portray that she has the perfect relationship and family, she has secrets and problems that she doesn’t want the community to know about. I think that this aspect of courtship is very realistic, maybe not some parts of the story line, but the overall direction of her life and relationships seem to parallel with many viewers.

Bree’s definition of love is about finding a person who fits her personality and sticking with them through thick and thin as best she can. This might be because she loves the person, or perhaps she thinks that people will think less of her if she fails at something. All she wants is for everybody to be pleasant. She believes in the likes attract likes rule of love because her husband is pretty much the male version of herself. She also believes in holding on to love and marriage and not giving up at the first sign of trouble. (Divorce would undoubtedly tarnish her sterling reputation in the community and cause many to whisper at her country club.) I think that this is why she stuck by her first husband when he cheated on her, and why she decided to stay with Orson, her knew husband, even when she found out some troublesome things about his past. She is so preoccupied with trying to make everybody pleasant that she often forgets about real love and passion. Bree would rather her life be in shambles in the dark and within her own family, than to be happy and have her secrets exposed to others. Many women or young girls could choose to identify with this character even if they are not similar to her because most people have been in a relationship or some situation that they would rather just endure than let their friends know about it and risk the gossip and embarrassment that would surely come.

"Everyone on Wisteria Lane thought of Bree as the perfect wife and mother, everyone that is, except her own family." -Mary Alice Young

This quote from the show I think says everything about Bree in a nutshell. (Mary Alice Young is one of the women's dead neighbors who is the narrator of the show.) Here are some others quotes said by Bree:

• "It's the age-old question, isn't it? How much do we really want to know about our neighbors?"
• "All I'm saying is that we're both going to die eventually, and in the time that we have left, whether it's two days or two decades, I think that we should be nice to each other."
• "The least we can do is try to keep up appearances."
• "Do me a favor, Rex. Please don't mistake my anal retentiveness for actual affection."
  

The Ladies of Wysteria Lane

So, I tried to do some research on different blogs of Desperate Housewives, but all I could seem to find were summaries, tv listings, character descriptions, gossip about the actresses, and things of that sort. I could not find, however, some opinions on anything to do with the topic of courtship (which, of course, is what I was trying to find). If you guys know of any, please let me know. So for now, I am just going to write about my own observations from watching the show and opinions about different aspects of it relating to the topic of courtship and love.

First of all, this show is made up of 5 different main characters (all women) that live on the street of Wysteria Lane. The title of the show pretty much sums up what they are, desperate housewives, but they are truly very different in every aspect of their personalities and behaviors, including their views on love and courtship. They have all gone through their share of relationships on the show, which at times can be a bit over the top and unrealistic, but they are very entertaining and show an exaggerated view of what real people experience. The differences in their personalities is part of what draws people to the show, because the variety gives more of a chance for people to relate to at least one or more of the characters.

Desperate Courtship

Although my last blog was about a commercial doing the super bowl, I have decided to take my topic in a different direction. I have decided to write about courtship on the show Desperate Housewives. (Which, by the way, I wasn’t able to watch last Sunday because of the stupid super bowl and all of its let downs.) This seems perfect to me because the characters on that show go through so many relationships, and the different episodes are all posted on the web so you all can watch them and discuss different arguments with me, even if you don’t normally watch the show, or can’t catch it when it airs. I just thought that I would let you know about the direction I am taking, but I will post a longer blog later. Until then.

My Super Proposal: the most public declaration of love in the history of mankind

So as I was watching the super bowl yesterday, I was thinking about what I could write in my blog about courtship on TV. I kept thinking, I really need to quit watching this game and do some of my own research with other shows that might be of more interest to my topic, but I decided to stay and maybe do “research” after the game. As the night progressed, I started hearing some of my friends mention something about some super bowl marriage proposal that was supposed to air during the commercials of the game. Bingo. I found the topic for my first real blog post.

At this super bowl party I was at, buzz was going around as people kept talking about this guy who was going to propose to his girlfriend. It got to the point where we weren’t even watching the game anymore and just waited for the commercials to come on so we could see if it was going to happen. Basically, it turned into a party for watching the super bowl commercials in hopes that we would get to see a perfect stranger ask another perfect stranger to marry him. (This sounds really pathetic now that I write it into words.) But, I started thinking about why we were so interested in this and these thoughts led me straight to courtship and love. Everyone wants to see a fairy tale proposal on TV, especially if you know that they paid over a million dollars to have it air during the biggest football game of the year. Other people’s relationships are just somehow extremely fascinating to bystanders, but only when the relationships are at two different extremes. People either like to see when relationships are very dysfunctional, or when they are very much in love and have the perfect life together.

The fact that this anonymous guy wanted to make the biggest life-changing decision of his life on national television, on the biggest NFL football game of the year, with the most expensive commercial slots obviously says something about how much of an impact that courtship on TV is. In order to get his commercial on the air, he needed a lot of publicity and to raise a huge amount of money, and he was determined and confident that he would be able to do this because he knew that it would be of a great deal of interest to many people. People are just undeniably interested in this sort of thing. If they weren’t, he wouldn’t have been able to raise the money necessary, or get enough of a buzz going around to land spots on several TV news shows and radio stations.

After a big letdown during the game, as it was not aired, I did a bit of research in order to find out what happened to the proposal that we were all waiting for. It turns out that the sponsor he had gotten to back him retracted the contract at the last minute and it was still up in the air whether or not it was going to be shown or not. After a while, I found this guy’s blog and started to read a little bit of it. He is now going to propose during the commercials of his girlfriend’s favorite TV show, not just because he wants to propose, but he also wants to appease the many people who have been following his story. This, to me, is something that is common on regular television shows that deal with courtship. They have to show you everything that happens in order to keep the viewer watching and satisfied. At least when I watch certain shows that have cliffhangers, I make sure to watch the next week, and so on, if I am at all emotionally invested to the show or characters. It seems to me that many people are invested into this guy’s story and need to have some closure. (Perhaps like the closure of a relationship.)

Speaking of closure, I must leave you now. But before I go, visit this site if you would like. http://www.mysuperproposal.com